Something good.

It was past 2am when a thought came up to me, "I don't love you anymore." For the first time in my life, I was determined to give up everything. I did not feel anything, not even remorse. I just stared blankly at the ceiling. It's almost 3am now and I couldn't sleep. I recollected my experiences on the past week. The 8-11 incident which made me wanted to kill somebody, and how I managed to fake everything on the following days, though I failed miserably and ended up hiding in my room instead of going to work and going to school. Then I remember my professor's words: Some truths, the exposure of which are delayed due to the protection of national stability. I hated that line. But it pierced through and punctured my heart. I couldn't live a lie, why me? I never should have asked that question: why me? I exactly know the answer. I stopped thinking. I am terribly damaged from the recent events in my life and I find it miserably hard to recover. I concluded the dawn with a cry. It was a good cry.

Kikayness

I'm HAPPY!

My sister is here in Davao for a 5-day stay. Her internship must have been grueling that's why she demanded a vacation in the middle of the semester. So, she bade goodbye to Iloilo this morning and waved HELLO TO DAVAO CITY as her plane landed at 9:35am.

So, since my sister is here and I haven't seen her for 8 long months, I wanted to do something SPECIAL. What am I going to do? Hahaha!

My sister is a little anti-social so I can't bring her to parties. She's more satisfied staying at home and I think this is the best time for me to abuse her while she's staying here. She knows how to cook delectable dishes and that's how I'm going to abuse her. Wahahaha!

Reformatted

If you've read my previous post, you'd sense that I am not in my best mood (or self?) right now. Whew! I had a tough week last week, and all I'm asking for is for it to get better. I hope that everything would fall into place and that bitches would die a thousand deaths.

I feel not-so-good-but-better-than-the-past-week.

Since time immemorial (errr, about three months ago), my memory card got infected with a Samok_ForYou.vbs virus, and two other .bat viruses and these files are undeletable, so just imagine my futile efforts in ERADICATING those viruses. This morning, I occasioned to search for these viruses, and the means to delete them, and got lucky! There's a Flash Disinfector available for free download, and with a few hundreds of comments praising such program, I decided to download and try it. Unfortunately, it did not do any good. I got frustrated, thinking that with the hundreds of "thank you's" commented about Flash Disinfector, I wouldn't be able to post my appreciation because it did not successfully delete the virus on my memory card. I was thinking of the one thing that I did not want to do: FORMAT my memory card. I don't want to lose all my files just because of those three insignificant viruses! My videos, music tracks, photos, it's like deleting my OWN MEMORY. But I guess there's no other way for me to get away from the burden of those pestering viruses.

FORMAT COMPLETE.

The memory card is then virus-free.

I wish I could reformat my life that easily.

It’s almost been a week since I learned of something unforgettable. It made me plead amnesia just to forget. It was the greatest heartbreak of my life. How could someone break the trust I’ve given?

I said I’d never interrupt my routine: but I violated my own rule as soon as I made them. I’ve been absent from work, skipped classes, withdrew from my friends, blocked everything out, I know it was not helping at all, but I’d rather drown in my depression than face the people with a heavy heart.

I spent 7 hours of planning, 5 minutes of execution, and the rest of my life being miserable.

I can't lie. But I don't want to tell the truth, either.You just can’t share some truths to protect other people. I will forever carry this burden. Sweetheart is dead.