You had me at my worst. Even before I started, you were the one who carried me through my ordeal. I practiced with you since day 1, brought you with me to get my license and every dime I earned was spent for your gasoline and repair. It's not fair that you had to leave when I wasn't home and couldn't do anything about it. The day that they really had to take you away, I swear I cried, but I said to myself that I should no longer hold on. Now that you're gone, I thought that it would be easy moving on, but it's not.
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| My first photo with you, with my ridiculous bangs, was when I had my first real driving experience. |
June 9, 2008. I went to Mati to visit my grandparents. You were in Mati, too. I've practiced with you before just along our subdivision streets but I was not allowed to take you any further. I wasn't your owner. I know I prayed for a car sometime in April 2008 and was half expecting that I'd win Maligaya Taxi's raffle for a brand new Kia Avella, but I didn't. When I went to Mati and announced that I will be getting my driver's license there, lolo said he's bequeathing you to me. I finally have a car!
I thought that getting my driver's license was easy, but it wasn't because lolo wanted to make sure that I can really drive you. I was confident that I already know how to drive. But it's different when my first passenger was lolo himself. He owned you, although you're under lola's name. We went to lolo's farm in Dahican and I had sweaty palms all throughout our trip. It was around mid day when we got back to the Poblacion and there were a lot of pedicabs and it was frustrating when your engine would stop, more than once, because I was too perplexed with crossing pedicabs, pedestrians, signal lights, road signs, and the fact that it was my first time to deal with traffic.
You're the first car that I have successfully driven. DAL 729. Your plates were so faded that the security guards in malls would usually be mistaken when they write your plate number in their parking tickets. When I first took you out alone, two vehicles which tailed us had a collision and I was very very scared that time. I swear I told myself that I should have listened to papa when he said that Uncle Dale should accompany me when I drive.
When I started to use you, that was the time when gasoline was priced at its highest. I didn't really have a stable job at that time but I really want to bring you with me at the office even though I could just easily ride with papa going there. The gasoline at that time was P62.00 per liter. And because you're such an old car, you had countless visits to the repair shop that left me really broke. Bahala'g wala koy kwarta, basta dili lang ko magbaktas! (It's alright even if I don't have any money as long as I don't have to hike).
We practiced with beau. And you're also the first car that beau has successfully driven. During our Senior's Night, I was so drunk that beau had to rescue me 'coz I couldn't drive anymore. You were so good to beau at that time, thank you! And there was this one time when it was raining very hard, I made a wrong turn heading to Karen's dormitory and the street was flooded! I was praying so hard that your engine wouldn't stop because I would never, ever, step down in the flooded street. Good thing that you were so dependable, you brought us to safety!
I broke your speedometer after Karen and Julius' birthday party. I had a breakdown when YOU got broke twice in one day, the first time while I was going to the office, and the second time when I was going home. I got your tint removed. I got you a really really bad dent while driving angry when dad was in the hospital. Dad didn't have to see that dent because you were repaired and as good as new by the time he got home. But only a few weeks later, I got you another dent, but it was a small one, this time.
I know I should have maintained you better. I was a bad driver, a bad owner. I never really washed you, or cleaned you, unless necessary. I left you about twice in the office parking lot because I was not in the mood to drive. And I also left you in C. M. Recto Street one night because you wouldn't start. I often complained that you didn't have any airconditioning and that it's so hot. I also complained about your broken wiper and I know that it was my fault that I didn't have them repaired sooner. But I loved you so much that I wouldn't trade you for dad's Pajero. Didn't you notice that I like driving you and that I would always choose you when I'm up for errands?
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We took this during my graduation day.
We didn't use you then 'cause you have no airconditioner.
I didn't think that this would be the last time that I would see you. |
April 21, 2010. I went home from Manila the day before just to attend my graduation. I'm not sure if I was able to drive you during my very short break but I guess I did. I missed you that time. I know that my siblings have been using you to practice driving. There's your photo with mom. I didn't know that it would be the last time that I'll see you in good running condition.
It's sad that when I went home, for good, on October 3, 2010, you weren't on the garage. Jovan said you're at the shop. I inquired about your condition and I was told that you needed a new engine. Rumor has it that you got broke during one of my siblings' driving practices. I thought that you could still be repaired and that I could still drive you one of these days but I was wrong. Beau and I were able to visit you at the repair shop and despite the dust all around you, you were handsome, as ever!
Beau wanted to buy you, I said no. Somebody else made an offer to buy you, I said no. I was sure that I was gonna have the money to have you repaired and restored and be back in my arms once again. But then, again, I was wrong.
I could no longer do anything when it was lola who decided to sell you. I cried. I remember all the good and bad times we've shared together: the flood, the breakdown, the dents. Beau asked me what your name was and I told him that you didn't have a name. Yeah, you didn't have a name because I didn't want to get attached to you that much. I just referred to you as the green car. Kotse. But I honestly did not know that I would get hurt that you're finally out of my life and I don't have a choice.
As I said in my FB status, "Moving on... I shouldn't cry... I should learn to let go of "things" and just keep the memories." Goodbye, green car....
Now that I don't have a car to drive, maybe I could use a 1TB Portable Hard Drive.
